Family

"Hello?"
"Hi, sweetheart. We've got some news. Grandpa just died."
"Oh, really? Dang. I thought that was going to happen tonight."

I had just been awoken at 4 am by my mother. My dads father had just passed away. Earlier in the day I had said my good byes via phone. Although he couldn't talk back to me, due to his situation, my dad assured me he heard what I said.
I haven't always been a family person and I especially haven't been big on blogging about them either. I am not a fan of "mom blogs", something about bragging to the world about my family doesn't seem right to me. I am hoping to not brag about them in this post. I just want people to know why I think family is so important.
I didn't grow up close to my extended family. Living in Japan while the rest of them were scattered around the US made seeing all of them at once impossible. I went five years at a time without seeing cousins or grandparents so to me, the idea of having cousins as close as brothers or sisters still takes some getting use to for me.
In September I took a job in Salt Lake City. With little money to my name I asked my aunt and uncle who live in Salt Lake if I could stay with them for a few weeks. I offered to camp in their backyard so I wouldn't intrude on them but my aunt and uncle insisted I stay in the house, in a huge bed. Living with them for a month I was awarded the chance to get to know my cousins like I hadn't been able to in past years. Hanging out with husbands, holding babies, playing games and swapping stories. I spent my evenings talking my Aunts head off, asking my uncle questions about my mothers side of the family, and piecing together, in my mind, the years I wasn't present in their life. I thumbed through photo albums in the bookshelf in my room, looking at birthdays and baptisms, proms, and weddings. "This is what their life was like while I was in Japan." I often thought during one of the many late nights I spent pouring over photographs.
When I found a place to live, I realized I wouldn't be able to spend as much time with them when I moved into my new home. Yes, they would still be in Salt Lake but it's not like I could, on a whim, call them and say, "Tell me about your childhood and going to the cabin."
Being able to get to know my mom's brother's family and the passing of my grandfather has made me realize how short our time with these people is. I can't continue to say, "I have tomorrow to say hello to the people that really matter in my life." Truethfully, we only have today.

I moved again?

Yes, it's true. I have once again packed up my Subaru and headed North. Well...more north than Kanab and less North than Logan. I now reside in Salt Lake City, in my aunt and uncles basement. I have a real job now. You know, one of those jobs that pays you a decent wage and give you benefits.
I am pretty stoked on this new job because I get to do what I love best, talk about bicycles all day and get paid for it. I feel blessed to have a job doing something I love and using my degree. I have been wanting to find a journalism related job for a while but it seemed like nothing was working out till now.
Living inside has been a little weird. I don't really like it. There isn't a chorus of crickets and frogs that sing me to sleep every night. You can't feel a breeze indoors, and for some reason I find sleeping on a sleeping pad so much more comfortable than a bed.
I am glad I get to shower every other day now. It is nice to get up in the morning and say, "I don't think I want to shower right now, I'll shower later." Instead of waking up and saying, "I wish there was a shower here. I am dirty, smelly, and I haven't shaved my legs in two months."
New bikes to me are like crack cocaine. If I could own seven bikes, I would. lately I have been checking out whats new in the bike market so I can see what my next purchase will be in the way of bikes. I promise to post about bikes in my next post.

The Wave and the earth

Working for the BLM has had it's advantages. It makes people hate me before they even know my name (People in Kanab don't like the BLM very much), I am strangely OK with this. I didn't want to leave any ties in Kanab any way. But in all honesty, working for the BLM is great when you want access to areas that most people need permits for, such as The Wave. The BLM only allows 20 people to hike in the Cyote Buttes area surrounding the wave, everyday. People in their 40s cry when they don't win the lottery for a pass. That is how much of a big deal it is.
I got to go to the wave last week, sans lottery, with one of my crew members, to "assist" one of the rangers on her patrol to make sure people had water (it was 95F outside. It is a six mile hike round trip) and were legally hiking there with a permit. One of the strange things about The Wave is that when one gets to the trail head there is no one there to check if you have a permit. This makes it possible for any shmoe to hike it, if they feel like breaking the rules. With the hike being so spread out any one could access this area if they really felt like it since it is not patroled every day. Don't get any ideas guys, it is protected for a reason.
Seeing the wave made me realize how much I love being out in nature and why I joined the Utah Conservation Corp to begin with. It wasn't so I could go out and ride sick trails all day (I have never wanted to do that). It was so I could connect with the earth and figure out why people really want to save it.
Living outside since March has given me ample time to think about why I want to save this big world. It is because I'm not the only one who lives on it and because it is so damn beautiful I often find it hard to describe it.
Utah State Rep, Mike Noel, for district #73 was quoted in a High Country News as saying, "Worship the creator, not the creation" when asked about Grand Staircase Escalante. Being of the same religious persuasion as Mike Noel I don't agree with what he is saying. Although I don't think people should worship trees, I know that protecting our public lands is something God would want us (us being EVERYONE)to do. Why else would he give us such amazing unique places on earth? I don't think he did it so we could open uranium mines on them or drill for oil. My days in the surrounding areas of "God's Waiting Room" are numbered, but I am thankful every day that I am there. In the middle of no where. Taking it all in.

Kanabistan

I was reminded last weekend by my boyfriend of the importance of updating my blog so that people will actually read it. I am prone to agree with him.
I am living in Kanab now. It has been an interesting transition, working in a place that is drastically different from Moab.
Despite a few set backs, things have been going well. I went to Durango last weekend with a bunch of UCC folks and went to bakery called "bread" that I had heard about a while back. They make artisan bread that reminds me of Crumb Brothers bread. It is wuality artisan bread and it isn't expensive. I got to meet the owner, by chance, and he gave me a free bag of granola for telling him how much I liked his bakery. He knew about Crumb Brothers baker and told me to apply at his shop, because some times they are hiring. Not bad, eh?
They also give away cool stickers that say "Bread not Bombs" and you can buy cycling caps that say "Bikes not bombs". I got a cycling cap and a stack of stickers. If anyone wants a sticker, let me know. I'll send one your way. Rob, you already have one coming to you with some other stuff.
I have missed being around bike culture. Here in Kanab, there are very few people who ride bikes, and even fewer who like bread. Not having artisan bread is taking it's toll on me. I need my crusty goodness!!!!

Mobile Me

It seems that I've fallen in love with the bohemian life. But just for a while. There is something fantastic about sleeping in a tent, living by the river (yeah, I really do), taking siestas in a hammock and waking up with the birds every morning. I love the feeling of being so free. But I also crave sustainability in my life. Routine and a real bed.
So what does this all mean? It means that I have spent the past month and a half living in a tent in Moab, working for the BLM on trails. But my time in Moab is coming to a close rather quickly and in two weeks I will find myself in Kanab, UT Till August. I will be doing similar work in Kanab only I will have my own three person crew. This excites me and scares me all at once. I have never been to Kanab and the only thing I ever hear about it is how much people love their guns, land, republicans. Wow. I will most likely no longer be able to find Organic produce, let alone hummus. This is going to be...fun?
Now that I will be all over the place I will start updating my blog more so everyone can keep up with my crazy, bike riding, out side living life. I intend on going on some pretty crazy adventures. All of it will go down in history here.
I should have written about Durango here. Hot damn... Durango knows how to party, especially during a bluegrass festival.

Pictures to come soon!

You say you want a revolution

I came to the realization long ago that when one is informed it becomes their duty to pass along the information that is important (and occasionally not so important) to others.
Being informed for me has meant that I have become more politically active and out spoken than I ever thought possible for myself. If you know me, I am out spoken as it is, adding politics to the situation only makes things... interesting.
Currently in our country teachers jobs are being cut like it's the governments job to make public school a worse place than it already is. In States like California and New York (just two examples I am using, I am positive that this happens in more places) Schools are already over crowded, teachers are over worked and underpaid. To add insult to injury, the government plans on cutting thousands, literally, of teaching positions to help take care of the deficit.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE IDEA! This idea is worse than bailing out the banks and auto industry combined. Don't let our schools become a place where education is second to crowd control. Schools are bad enough as it is, we don't need them to become worse, they need to get better. Cutting teaching jobs and combining classes isn't going to solve the problem, act up and do something about it.
If you are doubting the difference that teachers truly make in students lives, watch this video of Taylor Mali, a New York City school teacher, performing his poem, "What Teachers Make".

Conquering fear

I live most of my life in fear. I'll admit it. It's not a big deal for me anymore now that I have realized it. So what does this mean exactly? It means it takes me twice as long to do things in my life than the average bear because I am to afraid. NOT ANY MORE!
The past few months it's been my goal to move past fear and into faith. I can live in faith and be happy, living in fear does nothing for me.
To move out of fear I acquired a portion of a sourdough starter and have been feeding it. I've used it to make sourdough pancakes and sourdough biscuits (for biscuits and gravy). It feels slightly carnivorous to be feeding something, watching it grow, and then eating it. But I like it. ;)
The second thing I have done is...... I am auditioning to be in a poetry slam at USU. I love slams, everything about them. Watching the poets as they pour words into the microphone for you to drink up creates this energy that is unmatched by anything else I have ever experienced.
I'm conquering fear. Watch me.

The death of a friend

I'm 24 and I haven't experienced much death in my life. I have friends who have had 8-10 friends and family members die before they were 18, not me. My life has been defined by people that I meet, not loose.
My friend Eric, who lived in San Francisco, died Jan.3. I only got to know Eric over a three day period, while staying with his house mate Gabe. Eric lit up whatever room he walked into with his kind heart, jokes, and bright spirit.
I got the joy of celebrating Eric's 30 (or 31st birthday, can't remember now) with him and eating a beautiful and delicious brunch made by him to celebrate the occasion, with the rest of the pilgrims who had come to stay at the Fair Avenue house for the San Francisco Bike Festival. At one point during the meal Eric motioned to a box in the corner of the room "There are fresh California nectarines in that box, help yourself." "Are you sure? I'll eat the whole box if you let me, those aren't in season for another month in Utah" I said. He answered "If they aren't in season where you live, eat more! They were just picked a day or two ago" I told him I didn't have a way to repay him and he answered with "Just tell us your stories, thats all we ask for". Eric truly embodied the phrase "Food for thought" feeding people all over San Francisco in exchange for a conversation.
The night before I was to depart San Francisco I was packing up my things and Eric said to me "Don't forget to take some fruit with you". I ate nectarines the entire train ride back to Utah.
Eric's Kindness to the people around him will never be forgotten.
Although I am sad to have a friend taken at such a young age, I am grateful to have known him.